I'm not sure if life ever really stops rolling over into newness. If there is always something, and there is, then we are living in constant preparation for the next step, worrying about tomorrow, making endless to-do lists that never get checked off. I believe there is a fine detail, a small space between what echoes as living responsibly and what is really just a constant looking over your shoulder, permanent frown lines to match your furrowed brows.
I think we should look forward to things, true. I think we should attend to details, yes. I think we should believe a little more in what we're capable of, always. Big changes, even good changes, can be difficult, can be scary, can loom over us and feel impossible, can feel like the taming of some wild beast in the simple form of managing a schedule, making decisions, saying goodbyes.
There is truth to being able to do what you claim is possible, to achieve what you say will be done. Reminding yourself every so often that you can do this, that the thing that stops you is only a self-perpetuated fear, a laziness steeped in resistance, and all at once you're there, in the center of a new universe, waiting for the word.
New changes, some bittersweet, to come on the Holstee homefront, and happy news to follow soon.
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